I missed another Coldplay concert, this time, I cannot 'Fix' my regrets.

Back in 2011, I wrote a blog about how I felt a strong connection with Coldplay after repeatedly watching their Glastonbury Live Concert. I can understand why old and the new generation of fans who watched them live at the Philippine Arena recently, on January 19th & 20th, felt a deep connection with the band, especially with the Xyloband amplifying emotions for every song played during the concert. I always liked how Coldplay deliberately used lights before, with strobe lights, and now, with Xylobands, it just intensifies the mood of the crowd, and I totally missed that experience. The Xyloband was invented because its inventor, Jason Regler, thought "lights will guide you home" and listening to Coldplay always feels like it!

Combination of Strobe light effects and Xylobands worn by the Coldplay concertgoers in 2022
Photo: Steve Jennings

Coldplay's frontman, Chris Martin, not only shares my birth month but has provided me a space where I feel I could travel through the "Speed of Sound". Anyone can attest to how he writes and sings from the heart, infusing them with so much passion that you can truly get emotional just hearing their music. As an *obsessed* fan who would always google meaning behind song lyrics, I discovered that "Fix You" was a song he wrote for his then-wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, when she lost her father (this song is even more relatable after my father's death, especially the part where "tears stream down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace"). Most probably, being in that arena, feeling a deep connection to this song, could have brought a moment where I might have teared up. And "Yellow", every time it's played, whether in a Glaston show or the recent concert in the Philippines, always brings that surreal moment where you can truly feel it. As always, the entire venue transforms into a sea of yellow whenever they perform this popular hit. Yellow, what I found out years back, is the most challenging color for our eyes to process, but for Chris, "all the things you do, it was called Yellow". 

I can still recall how a picture of Chris with his *equality* temp tattoo was my mainstay wallpaper for a long period of time (see picture on the right), reminding me of the band's advocacy. I always considered the other three, Guy, Jonny, and Will (especially Will briefly appearing in GoT was a huge moment for me—think about fandom collision), part of my admiration for sticking with the band after all these years. I mean, with "Viva La Vida," this is where I would truly see them as a band. And I think we can all agree that there's no other song in this world as powerful as when "I used to rule the world" starts playing. The fact that it's written by all members of the band makes it even more significant.

Another Coldplay post in my Facebook when Game of Thrones and Coldplay fandoms collided (Will briefly appeared on the series)

I had been such a fan of Coldplay that I was on a commenting spree on all Coldplay-related pages more than a decade ago, requesting Coldplay to come and play live in the Philippines. It was kind of embarrassing later on that when I would google my name, these posts were returned on the very first page of Google search (I took them down, of course, as I did not want my future employer to realize that the younger version of me—so aggressive or just super fanatic—would be doing the same in the form of chats or emails to co-workers). I also had their elephant's Paradise as my Cover Photo back then. Or calling CM as my *bana* and made a lot of Facebook comments about his *biceps* 😇. I also had my political view in my Facebook profile set to "Am I a part of the cure, Or am I part of the disease?" or how my religious view set something like this, "high up above, or down below".

Chris's Biceps all over my FB logs

Anyway, one of the things I could also recall being a fan was imagining my future daughter named after his firstborn with Gwyn — Apple Blythe (dropping Alison as it's just too long). And a close friend still calls me Blalalithe until now—thanks to Rez (I had asked her to change the spelling to I instead of Y).

I can barely recall the moment Coldplay first took the stage in the Philippines in 2017. After being tagged by so many close people in their posts about Coldplay's upcoming gig at the time—aside from Jared Leto or Benedict Cumberbatch, I am easily associated with Chris Martin to a few closest friends. But I felt like I did not have to attend their concert anymore, and I had probably the same vibes with their recent one at the Philippine Arena (I mean I would have spent good money to be in the show, but apart from having to think about my one-year-old son the whole time I was away, there's no enough motivation anymore). And I certainly know why. Why I missed these two concerts. It's been personal.

Learning about Chris's breakup with Gwyn, knowing that they have two kids, Apple Blythe Alison and Moses Bruce, broke my heart as a follower of the artist for so many years, and "it's such a shame for us to part". The 13-year marriage between Chris and Gwyn had somehow given me a glimpse on how inspiring his relationship was with Gwyn through some of his songs. Even so, I slowly shifted my thoughts away from Chris when he later dated JenLaw and was seen as *different*. The media quoted how she *opened* Chris Martin to a new life. I didn't exactly understand what that meant, "your guess is as good as mine", but everything about how inspirational Chris Martin was seemed to change into something I was not a fan of.

Anyway, I had a full stop listening to their music by the time "A Head Full of Dreams" was being streamed so popularly. It's safe to say that "Mylo Xyloto" was the last album I could relate to. Although I would have defended their change of music, by the time of the full stop, I also stopped rationalizing their new style. It's hard to isolate my personal appreciation for Chris Martin and the band. So when I listened and watched all these video clips from their recent Philippine tour (thanks to Czar for the snippets--ahhhh, "Green Eyes" with envy!), I realized how their music, and not just Chris Martin himself, has been the reason why I loved Coldplay. And I still do love Coldplay.

Probably, I won't ever get another chance ("cursed missed opportunities") to see them live, to feel the energy and all the goosebumps in the same place as they are, especially with the two chances I just missed in the Philippines. But I think I'll be rekindling my appreciation for the band and probably listen to their recent albums.

Thank you, Chris Martin and Coldplay, I still wish to see you live one day and may "God put a smile upon my face". "Viva La Vida" --- Long Live Life! 

Forever...

—

Gamayng yawyaw: To all *biglang fan* out there, it's totally an eyesore that you would caption your TikToks and whatnots with "Cold Play", srsly, just for the views? This "hurts like heaven" (thanks to Roj for the punny take!). 

Coldplay and the Pyramid Stage

All this time I have been plainly expressing to the universe about the great adoration I have for Chris Martin of Coldplay and for the band itself, I could not explain why. Why I have this strong connection to the band and to their music.

The answer has been within me all along... I have been unconsciously linking myself to them because Chris Martin, Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland and Will Champion — Coldplay and I certainly have one great thinking in common.

Courtesy of www.coldplay.com

Thanks to the capstone! Viva La Vida Coldplay!

And the best feeling I feel every time, this shared experience with them is when I watch the video below...

BTW, listen closely to Major Minus lyrics and you'd definitely praise, Viva La Vida Coldplay!